What would you name a racehorse?

"Jim Spanfeller" (awesomeaustinv) 07/08/2020 at 23:52 • Filed to: None

0

48

We all know racehorses have weird names. This is because it is illegal to give a racehorse a name that has already been given to a racehorse, and violation of this rule can get you banned from horse racing. So racehorses are given weird names like “TV Studio” or “Viagra’s Revenge” in the hopes that they won’t share a name with any other horse. I imagine it would be super fun to name racehorses. I’m thinking something like “Your Mom,” “Mike Ock,” or “Th under takes the lead”. Just imagine how much more fun horse races would be if the announcers had to refer to the horses by names like that!

So what would you name a racehorse?

wafflesnfalafel > Jim Spanfeller 07/08/2020 at 23:55

3

“slo-mo-shun”

Jim Spanfeller > wafflesnfalafel 07/08/2020 at 23:55

0

Y E S

Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. > Jim Spanfeller 07/08/2020 at 23:56

2

“I don't know who"

Thomas Donohue > Jim Spanfeller 07/08/2020 at 23:57

1

Bill MeLater

ranwhenparked > Jim Spanfeller 07/08/2020 at 23:58

1

Is Krudler taken?

The Snowman > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:03

2

Too fast for glue

AestheticsInMotion > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:03

3

X Æ A-Xii

InFierority Complex > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:04

6

Merfthemadmauler > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:06

1

But I’m a Stud.

i86hotdogs > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:10

2

Dane Gleesak

That One Guy

Not A Horse

i86hotdogs-might be biased on this one

CB > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:11

5

Glue Bucket.

This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:13

1

Is “Go Motherfucker Go!” t aken?

BaconSandwich is tasty. > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:14

0

I’m glad I’m not the only one that thought of “your mom”.

I meant that as a statement.  Not as the name of the horse.  But that could work too.

Grindintosecond > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:17

1

Amazeballs

MKULTRA1982(ConCrustyBrick) > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:17

2

Thunderous gyration.

Flavourful English Cooking

Sea biscuit 2: Electric Boogaloo

Sandpaper lovemaking

No kissing on the lips

A literal greyhound

All these other horses are stupid

X Æ A-12

pip bip - choose Corrour > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:18

1

Slow coach

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:22

1

Bjorn A. Payne Diaz

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:33

1

Poop head the 3rd

Chariotoflove > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:39

1

Didn’t you do this before? No matter. I suggest Penguin’s Revenge for...reasons.

Now if you want to call some interesting names on the final stretch, here are some ideas:

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:39

2

Future Glue

Ford Tempo

Poprocket

Thunder P uck

Impish Delight

Inaccessible Heights

Restricted Area

Moist Bananana

Constance Disappointment

Nigel Prince

The Horse Fo rmerly Known As

I Have Too Much Fun With This

Ok, I’ll stop now.

Svend > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:41

4

“My Face” . Just to hear people shout, ‘come on My Face”. “Go on, you can do it, faster, come on My Face”.

Oh, and my GSM (general store manager) is called, Lynne Mycock. iT's always funny. 

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:49

1

Smells Like Teen Spirit

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:57

1

Pisses with fury.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 00:58

1

Turd Polisher

Aremmes > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 01:25

1

Adhesive Raw Material #1

Liquid Nails Tube Filler

Dances With Stiction

Breaky Thingy Putter Togetherer

Mello Jello

Elmer

Son of Elmer

Elmer The Third

way2blu does a rev update > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 01:37

2

Personally, I’m not a fan of the horse-racing industry and its treatment of the horses. I do like maximum-cringe names though, so here goes:

Moist Resolve

Chronic Munchies

Watermelon Spiced Chai

Vote Neigh

WAY2GLU

Social Distance

Fragile Ego

Flaming Car

Ad Block

Crowd Seeker

Student Loan

Clip-Clop Flip-Flop

Spam Call

Kinja Update

just-a-scratch > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 01:48

1

My Little Brony

DipodomysDeserti > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 01:54

1

BDE

Nauraushaun > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 02:02

1

Animal Cruelty

I wonder how that would go down

SmugAardvark > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 03:16

1

Jeff.

My bird IS the word > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 06:18

1

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Taylor Martin > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 07:01

1

Average Joe or Regular Horse just because it simply isn’t average or regular.

Or some really obnoxiously long horse name like Octagonaspartata viusitivity (oct-ta-gon -ah-spar-ta-tay-vee-ous-it-tee) just to stick it to the sportscasters.

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 07:26

1

Frost And Fog

She Sells Seashells

You Carnt

Far Kin Hell

Didyabringabongalong

Chlorohydroxyquinobutylene

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 07:40

1

Who’s H orse I s T his

Migrating Coconut

This Horse Not Named

Hamster

Carry On My Wayward Hoof

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 08:37

1

A Horse, of Course

I Don’t Know

White Trash Cum Dumpster

Balls of Steel

XJDano > Chariotoflove 07/09/2020 at 09:17

1

It’s too hot outside for a penguin. 

Jim Spanfeller > Chariotoflove 07/09/2020 at 09:38

1

Who’s on first is still the greatest comedy sketch ever...

I seem to recall doing one post before about racehorses, but I think that one was a bit different. 

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 09:39

1

Down The Stretch They Come

Jim Spanfeller > MKULTRA1982(ConCrustyBrick) 07/09/2020 at 09:41

0

That last one... I like it.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > BaconSandwich is tasty. 07/09/2020 at 09:41

1

My go-to fake email for website is your@mom.com.

Jim Spanfeller > way2blu does a rev update 07/09/2020 at 09:42

2

THERE TOTALLY NEEDS TO BE A “Social Distancing” RACEHORSE!

Jim Spanfeller > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/09/2020 at 09:44

0

Nice.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Aremmes 07/09/2020 at 10:07

1

Pliny the Elmer

Aremmes > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 07/09/2020 at 10:34

0

YES.

BaconSandwich is tasty. > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/09/2020 at 11:07

1

My go-to is less exciting - test@example.com

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > BaconSandwich is tasty. 07/09/2020 at 11:14

1

Just realized that the best possible entry for one of these required fields on a website is an email (contact or CEO, whatever you can find) from the website itself!

MKULTRA1982(ConCrustyBrick) > Jim Spanfeller 07/09/2020 at 11:47

1

First I had random numbers and letters, but I felt like that was more absurd. I think it means “my parents are deluded” in Californian? 

Chariotoflove > XJDano 07/09/2020 at 15:09

0

Depends on your penguin.